The Mindful Homeschool

Last week I was complaining of feeling burnt out.  I felt like I really needed a break.  But looking back I realized that if I would have made some adjustments earlier, I would not have felt so crispy.

First of all, I need to get out of the house and into the ”out of doors” for at least a short time each day, frigid weather or not.  Last week, partly because of the weather I did not do that.

Secondly, I need to do yoga (or some other equally good exercise) at least three times a week.  Last week, once again, partly because it was so cold, I did not do that.  I also need to hit the mat regularly, daily, if possible.   And let’s face it, it is possible.  I can find at least a few minutes every day to do some poses.

I need to focus more on getting adequate sleep.  I need say no more.

I need to spend some time each day reading from my meditation book and focusing on my spiritual health, for lack of a better way of saying it.  I need to meditate. 

I need to focus on what is truly important to me right now:  my children, my family, our health and education, and God as I understand God right now.  There are other things that I could add to the list but this will suffice for now.  I need to be mindful of where my time is going and whether or not it is going to the right places.

I need to take time for myself to do the basics to keep myself moving on an even keel.  

I need regular “me” time even if it is only for a short period of time, like 10-15 minutes.

I need to journal, especially when I cannot see things clearly or understand things clearly.

I need to practice being in the moment with my kids and not off somewhere else for at least a few minutes every day. 

I need to discover what brings me joy and avoid what brings me down.

I need to plan fun into my schedule so that there is always something to look forward to.

I need to meet up with other HS people who can share this journey with me.  I need to focus more on making connections with other like-minded parents.  And focus more on connections in general.

I need to practice gratitude and act accordingly.

I need to spend some time each day enjoying a good book.    

And lastly, I need to do all these things because I want to burn brightly but not burn out. 

Can I brag just a little? 

This winter the three children, Papa and I have been skating on the ice down by the marsh every chance we get.  And I am afraid that our skating days may be numbered.  So it is with great pride that I will announce that this winter we have made skaters of them all.  This has been one of those unconscious goals of mine for a long time. 

Everyone, I am sure, has ideas of what experiences they want to share with their kids, right?  Well, one of mine has been to raise kids who were comfortable swimming in a pool or lake in the summertime and also able to skate across an icy surface in the winter time.  And enjoy ice skating enough that you wanted the frigid cold days of winter to last just a little longer just to be able to skate outdoors just a little longer. 

Today we all skated outside on the pond.  It was glorious.  The sun was out part of the time and we warmed up enough to take our jackets off and skate in our sweatshirts and long-sleeved shirts.  Glorious. 

One of the neighbor’s grandparents saw W skating out there and commented that W had “style” and had a future in hockey.  That was a nice compliment to hear.  And there were no lessons, not even informal lessons.  We paid no money, other than what we spent on buying the skates.  We just laced them up and sent them out onto the ice.  We took them ice skating every chance we got.  And this year we were lucky, yes, lucky, that it has been cold up here in this neck of the woods. 

So even though I am looking forward to spending more time outside in warmer, spring weather and I am looking forward to playing outside without having to spend a lot of time dressing for it I am not ready to say goodbye to ol’ man winter just yet. 

It has been so wonderful to see my children skating faster and more confidently on the ice.  It has been a great way to play outside on these cold days of le bons hivers.  (That’s the good winter, n’est pas?)  We have taken photos.  I have blogged about it.   And we have made memories sharing good times with family and friends on our frozen pond. 

When it is time to go, we will wish it a fond farewell.  But not until then.  We will be out there every day we can, trudging down the hill with our sleds, water bottles, bubble gum, skates and shovels.  Making winter memories for those hot, dog days of summer that are sure to come, but in their own good time. 

On Wednesday night we ended up having a “o-tsukimi” party.  At least I think that is what the Japanese would call it.  Papa made his famous homemade pizza and then later we watched a beautiful lunar eclipse from our front yard in the frigid air, running outside to look at it and then back inside to enjoy the warmth of a fire in our fireplace.   

That same night I also taught the children some basic kanji.  The children had seen Sagwa, a PBS show about a Chinese cat, where people were practicing kanji and it showed people learning one of Celia’s best remembered Chinese characters, the kanji for rain.  This was enough to inspire the kids to practice writing these beautiful Chinese characters. 

We practiced again on Thursday and both Celia and William have really neat writings to prove it.  I taught them the few that I know including moon, day, rain, river, mountain, book, eye, and rice paddy.  Makes me glad that I studied kanji enough to share this with them.  It is amazing how what I have learned is able to be passed on.  Bit by bit.  Makes me wish I would have studied harder!  Well, I guess there is still time for that.  Maybe HSing gives all of us that second chance.

C had her art class on Friday.  She was one of three students in the class which meant she and the other students had more individualized attention from the teacher.  She, as usual, had a lot of fun and created some really neat art, a Fante flag.

The Fante people of Ghana, West Africa, have been making brightly colored patchwork flags for over six hundred years.  The flags are paraded through the streets of towns and villages at festivals and at the funerals of important people. 

Fante flags are sometimes made of cotton, silk, satin or felt.  Sometimes they are embroidered to give them an even more interesting texture and look.  There can be as many as 15 different colors on one flag.

The pictures sewn on the flags tell stories of historical events or African proverbs.  They show details of the beliefs and traditions of the Fante.   

Each student in C’s class made a flag of their own from felt applied to a very thick piece of paper.  The flag C created has a bright red border with a dark black and blue rectangle at the upper left hand corner.  The center of the flag is blue with a white unicorn in the middle of it.  There is a colorful rainbow in the lower right-hand corner of the blue rectangular center. 

“The magical menagerie” is the name of the company on which her flag is based.  I plan to ask her more about how she came up with the name and what it means.

While C was at art class, H, W, and I went shopping.  We picked up some Valentine clearance items, including some adorable “Sweater bears”.  They are polar bear plush toys with soft sweaters with hearts on them.  The children have been playing with them ever since they got them.  These bears are so cute that I am starting to play with them!

W has been interested in polar bears ever since he was little.  He received an adorable plush toy one from Santa one year.   He reminds us to pray for them during bedtime prayers every night.  He is concerned about them becoming endangered species.  He knows that global warming is affecting their living conditions and that this may be reducing their numbers.  

We have learned a lot about polar bears over the past few years and like W, I pray that the effects of global warming will be reversed and the polar bears will once again have lots of ice on which to roam.  Polar bears are the largest carnivorous mammals in the world.  They are famously devoted mothers and stay with their cubs until they are 30 months old.  They “attachment parent” and nurse their young for up to 30 months.  It is only when the cubs are ready to hunt and fend for themselves that they are separated.  Once I was asked the question, “If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?”  I told them I would like to be a polar bear because they are such good mothers.

God bless these animals and keep them safe.  

So here was the quickly devised plan for today:

• Make pink heart-shaped pancakes for lunch or supper. 
• Make Valentine’s card for Dad.
• Give out v day cards to neighbors.
• Hand out Spanish “corazones dulces” sweet hearts to kids and try to translate into English.  Might need help from internet.
• Math work and copy work.
• Kids get half-hour on Webkinz.
• Shovel snow on driveway and pond.  Go ice skating.
• Possibly head to store for fresh flowers and more strawberries.
• Eat really good chocolate.
• Pick up house and decorate table with Valentine candles and red and white table gems for dinner before heading to pond.
• Dress in red clothes.
• Laundry.
• Focus on what I am grateful for and write in my blog.
• Focus on being in the moment with my kids.
• Yoga and me time.

We didn’t get out to the pond for some ice skating today.  It was much too cold and we were busy inside until Papa came home.  And as you can see, I did get a lot done but not everything.  And I even managed to “trim” the boys’ hair.  When I give them haircuts, it’s a three day process.  They don’t sit still long enough and the next few days after the initial “trim” are spent neatening everything up.  So that and dealing with a 3 yo who wouldn’t nap took time away from the plan.  And of course, I still have a bit of time left to do yoga, have me time and concentrate on what I feel grateful for. 

It’s a good thing I put “focus on what I am grateful for” on my to-do list.  I was losing sight of all that this afternoon.  H-man wasn’t napping and that meant no time for mommy to sit and have a cup of tea all alone.  Thankfully, the older kids stepped in and watched/entertained my little guy for me.  By 4:00 in the afternoon, I get cranky if I don’t get a break and take time for myself.  Unfortunately, the break I took only fueled my frustrations with my lot in life.  

Here’s what happened.  I got on the internet and checked my emails.  Big mistake.  Looking back, I should have made a cup of tea, asked the kids to watch H-man and read from my book, Meditations from the Mat.  That would have put me in the right frame of mind and I might have even made time to do a little yoga.  But no, I checked my crazy, ever prolific emails.  There were so many posts and I tried to weed through them but it was no easy task.  There was a particular thread about hubbies and Valentine’s day that caught my attention and I started to read everyone’s, becoming gloomier and gloomier as I went on.  Sigh.  Stories about doting husbands giving jewelry, roses and other expensive gifts; husbands surprising wives and children with reservations at restaurants; all sorts of lovely gestures.  But it made me feel a bit down.   

Don’t get me wrong.  My dh is a great guy but Valentine’s day has never been an occasion for diamonds, lavish gifts, surprise dinner reservations and extravagant showers of affection.  We are what some might call “simple” people.  We rarely put money into those kinds of luxuries anymore.  Not since we had kids and took our “vows of poverty”.  lol.  Tulips and daisies, yes.  Dark chocolate, yes.  Diamonds, no.  (Well, except for our engagement).  And these emails were detailing all these thoughtful but somewhat lavish gifts of affection and attention.  Meanwhile, I am at home with the children having spent a day of doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding, toilet training, nursing, teaching, and I am getting crankier by the minute.

And then I thought about my plan for the day.  My plan to focus on what I am grateful for and my mood started to lighten, little by little. 

I am so grateful for my dh, my children, my family, and our health, among other things.  I am grateful for my brother’s return to health and for caring family members (sisters-in-law included).  For the warmth of our home and for all of our modern day comforts.  For good food, access to health care and public libraries.  For a healthy mind and body.  For yoga and its unlimited potential.  For the love of my children, their smiles, their giggles, their sweetness and the joy they bring into my life.  For my dear husband and all that he does for me and our children.  Every day.  Without fail.  For every moment I have been given.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I guess it’s all how you look at it sometimes.   

Well, it didn’t really happen, but I tried really hard.  I tried to give up the computer and the TV and I was relatively successful.  I did find myself sneaking a peek at my email in the morning.  I tried to avoid doing that.  And I googled the poem “This little piggy goes to the market” after H asked me why the last little piggy cried!  I didn’t find an answer but I did find lots of other interesting websites.  ahem.  

I told the kids that they were not allowed to watch any TV or play on the computer but I found out later that the two oldest children logged on to Webkins briefly when I wasn’t looking.  By 3 pm I was on the verge of a headache and oh, it would have been so easy to give up.  But I persevered.  We worked on making Valentines and got a lot done.  Relatively speaking.  And it helped me the next day because the kids didn’t expect to watch TV right upon waking up. 

I told H that I wanted him to sit on the potty at least once before he could watch his morning TV show.  He lay down and cried upon hearing that.  But after a little while he agreed to try sitting on the toilet.  We went to the bathroom and I showed him what he needed to do and then … he did it!  He was so proud of himself.  After that, he spent the next 2 hours sitting on the toilet, wiping himself, flushing, washing his hands, or bathing (after messier outputs) and drinking water so he could go AGAIN!

It goes without saying that going TV/computer-free is hard work and I would have a hard time doing it everyday but … one day a week seems doable.  Baby steps.  My family and I learn a lot from PBS shows and TV can be very entertaining.  Last night all five of us watched a wonderful ballroom dancing show that had all three kids inspired to twirl around the room together.  It was a true family moment when we were all focused on the same thing, living in the same moment, together as a family.  It is those times when I am grateful for TV.  And of course, the computer is also another wonderful tool for learning, inspiration and entertainment. 

The problems happen when we start using these tools too much at the expense of being there with our loved ones.  It’s a problem when it shuts out our loved ones and closes us off to the world.  I know I have a long ways to go toward finding balance in this modern world.  I can get so absorbed in my emails and the blogosphere that I start neglecting my family and my own real-life moments.  I think going tech-free on Tuesdays could help me and my family appreciate technology’s role a lot more and help bring more clarity into our use of it.  At least it is worth a try.

We finished reading The Little Prince tonight.   I had read it a long time ago but had forgotten how it had ended.  I had a hard time reading out loud tonight because the ending is so sad.  I think W found it to be really sad too.  He kept rubbing his eyes and I don’t think it was because he was sleepy (although he probably was tired after a full day of snowboarding with his dad).  C had read it on her own a few weeks ago and hadn’t really understood what had happened to The Little Prince at the end. 

I am left with a lot of questions myself.  I googled for more information on the novella but I have yet to find any good answers to my questions.  It turns out that The Little Prince is one of the top 50 most popular books in the world.  I believe it was #26.  I have memorized one of the lines from the book:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” 

We read more chapters from The Little Prince tonight and we came upon this gem.  The little prince learns this from the fox he has “tamed”:

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

W had a playdate with a neighborhood friend.  C started working on a latch hook rug and H, Papa and I made brownie biscotti.  I made it to my yoga class and hope to take another class tomorrow.  We watched the Grammy Awards on TV.  Oh, and lest I forget, I heard a great poem on the Writer’s Almanac on NPR while washing the supper dishes.  All in all, a pretty good day.

We went ice skating at the pond again today.  It is our best antidote to the winter doldrums.  We were out there for two full hours.  The three kids, a couple of neighborhood friends, and I all skated.  I love going out there and being on the marsh.  I love shovelling the snow.  (I did a lot of that yesterday and today.)  I love seeing how my children are getting better and better on the ice.  I love being outside with my children.  In short, I just love it!

It is part of our daily schedule to go outside.  I want my kids to spend at least 15 minutes a day outside, preferably an hour or more.  And today, we spent two glorious hours on the ice.  I did a lot of shovelling and the kids skated and played a bit in the cattails that border the pond where we skate.  They were resting in the cattails with one of our neighbor friends and hiding from her brother at one point.  Of course, it wasn’t long before my 3 yo ds gave them away!   

Skating outside on a frozen pond is a fond childhood memory of mine.  My siblings and I grew up on a street that had a pond at the end of it.  Every winter the neighborhood kids would shovel it, lace up their skates and play.  The boys played hockey and the girls practiced their “figure skating”.  I remember dreaming that one day I could grow up to be a Olympic figure skating champion.  Do kids these days have the same aspirations?

Anyway, I am thrilled that my children are now growing up with the same opportunity I had.  The opportunity to skate every winter day on the pond across from our house.  It is one of those things that a child should do if they grow up in a climate such as ours.  That and perhaps, ice fishing???   

I want my children to grow up having embraced the “out of doors” as Charlotte Mason would say.  Even when it is cold outside, there is always something to do.  Because of the heavy snowfalls and frigid temperatures, this winter has been great for sledding, snowboarding and ice skating.  I would like my family to try snowshoeing and cross-country skiing some time too.

I agree wholeheartedly with Charlotte Mason.  ”Never be within doors, when you can rightly be without.”

I just spent the past two days working on a “family project” which has left me exhausted.  There has not been much time for me or my kids or my hubby.  So it was interesting to see in my latest Yoga Journal magazine an article about the very thing I was doing, helping others and feeling exhausted. 

The question posed was, “How can I give and still take care of myself?”  The answer was:  “You can contribute to your own and others’ happiness by choosing a way to give that feeds you.  Spend quiet moments reflecting on what you might offer; identify your strengths, talents, and abilities.  Then find a venue where they can be put to good use.” 

The article ends by saying, “Whatever you choose, practice Savasana every day to restore your energy.”  Good advice, indeed!  I think this advice could be useful to me in my HS journey as well.