The Mindful Homeschool

So here was the quickly devised plan for today:

• Make pink heart-shaped pancakes for lunch or supper. 
• Make Valentine’s card for Dad.
• Give out v day cards to neighbors.
• Hand out Spanish “corazones dulces” sweet hearts to kids and try to translate into English.  Might need help from internet.
• Math work and copy work.
• Kids get half-hour on Webkinz.
• Shovel snow on driveway and pond.  Go ice skating.
• Possibly head to store for fresh flowers and more strawberries.
• Eat really good chocolate.
• Pick up house and decorate table with Valentine candles and red and white table gems for dinner before heading to pond.
• Dress in red clothes.
• Laundry.
• Focus on what I am grateful for and write in my blog.
• Focus on being in the moment with my kids.
• Yoga and me time.

We didn’t get out to the pond for some ice skating today.  It was much too cold and we were busy inside until Papa came home.  And as you can see, I did get a lot done but not everything.  And I even managed to “trim” the boys’ hair.  When I give them haircuts, it’s a three day process.  They don’t sit still long enough and the next few days after the initial “trim” are spent neatening everything up.  So that and dealing with a 3 yo who wouldn’t nap took time away from the plan.  And of course, I still have a bit of time left to do yoga, have me time and concentrate on what I feel grateful for. 

It’s a good thing I put “focus on what I am grateful for” on my to-do list.  I was losing sight of all that this afternoon.  H-man wasn’t napping and that meant no time for mommy to sit and have a cup of tea all alone.  Thankfully, the older kids stepped in and watched/entertained my little guy for me.  By 4:00 in the afternoon, I get cranky if I don’t get a break and take time for myself.  Unfortunately, the break I took only fueled my frustrations with my lot in life.  

Here’s what happened.  I got on the internet and checked my emails.  Big mistake.  Looking back, I should have made a cup of tea, asked the kids to watch H-man and read from my book, Meditations from the Mat.  That would have put me in the right frame of mind and I might have even made time to do a little yoga.  But no, I checked my crazy, ever prolific emails.  There were so many posts and I tried to weed through them but it was no easy task.  There was a particular thread about hubbies and Valentine’s day that caught my attention and I started to read everyone’s, becoming gloomier and gloomier as I went on.  Sigh.  Stories about doting husbands giving jewelry, roses and other expensive gifts; husbands surprising wives and children with reservations at restaurants; all sorts of lovely gestures.  But it made me feel a bit down.   

Don’t get me wrong.  My dh is a great guy but Valentine’s day has never been an occasion for diamonds, lavish gifts, surprise dinner reservations and extravagant showers of affection.  We are what some might call “simple” people.  We rarely put money into those kinds of luxuries anymore.  Not since we had kids and took our “vows of poverty”.  lol.  Tulips and daisies, yes.  Dark chocolate, yes.  Diamonds, no.  (Well, except for our engagement).  And these emails were detailing all these thoughtful but somewhat lavish gifts of affection and attention.  Meanwhile, I am at home with the children having spent a day of doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding, toilet training, nursing, teaching, and I am getting crankier by the minute.

And then I thought about my plan for the day.  My plan to focus on what I am grateful for and my mood started to lighten, little by little. 

I am so grateful for my dh, my children, my family, and our health, among other things.  I am grateful for my brother’s return to health and for caring family members (sisters-in-law included).  For the warmth of our home and for all of our modern day comforts.  For good food, access to health care and public libraries.  For a healthy mind and body.  For yoga and its unlimited potential.  For the love of my children, their smiles, their giggles, their sweetness and the joy they bring into my life.  For my dear husband and all that he does for me and our children.  Every day.  Without fail.  For every moment I have been given.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I guess it’s all how you look at it sometimes.   

Well, it didn’t really happen, but I tried really hard.  I tried to give up the computer and the TV and I was relatively successful.  I did find myself sneaking a peek at my email in the morning.  I tried to avoid doing that.  And I googled the poem “This little piggy goes to the market” after H asked me why the last little piggy cried!  I didn’t find an answer but I did find lots of other interesting websites.  ahem.  

I told the kids that they were not allowed to watch any TV or play on the computer but I found out later that the two oldest children logged on to Webkins briefly when I wasn’t looking.  By 3 pm I was on the verge of a headache and oh, it would have been so easy to give up.  But I persevered.  We worked on making Valentines and got a lot done.  Relatively speaking.  And it helped me the next day because the kids didn’t expect to watch TV right upon waking up. 

I told H that I wanted him to sit on the potty at least once before he could watch his morning TV show.  He lay down and cried upon hearing that.  But after a little while he agreed to try sitting on the toilet.  We went to the bathroom and I showed him what he needed to do and then … he did it!  He was so proud of himself.  After that, he spent the next 2 hours sitting on the toilet, wiping himself, flushing, washing his hands, or bathing (after messier outputs) and drinking water so he could go AGAIN!

It goes without saying that going TV/computer-free is hard work and I would have a hard time doing it everyday but … one day a week seems doable.  Baby steps.  My family and I learn a lot from PBS shows and TV can be very entertaining.  Last night all five of us watched a wonderful ballroom dancing show that had all three kids inspired to twirl around the room together.  It was a true family moment when we were all focused on the same thing, living in the same moment, together as a family.  It is those times when I am grateful for TV.  And of course, the computer is also another wonderful tool for learning, inspiration and entertainment. 

The problems happen when we start using these tools too much at the expense of being there with our loved ones.  It’s a problem when it shuts out our loved ones and closes us off to the world.  I know I have a long ways to go toward finding balance in this modern world.  I can get so absorbed in my emails and the blogosphere that I start neglecting my family and my own real-life moments.  I think going tech-free on Tuesdays could help me and my family appreciate technology’s role a lot more and help bring more clarity into our use of it.  At least it is worth a try.