The Mindful Homeschool

The cost of everything, it seems, is going up.  Tonight when I went shopping I was careful to buy only what we really were going to use.  And I stayed away from the processed foods.  Well, except for buying a few loaves of bread and some crackers.  But other than that, I stuck with fruit, juice, eggs, meat, beans, and dairy.

This economy is in tough shape.  I am wondering what it is going to be like over these next few years.  It worries me a bit.  It makes me realize how good we have had it.  And it makes me sympathize even more with those who have less than us.  God bless us all.

We pulled off another kids’ birthday party last weekend.  It wasn’t easy.  But it was successful.  As my 4 yo said, “We had a nice birthday party and they leaved me the gifts.” 

The kids played outside and inside with the cousins.  They climbed trees, raked leaves, and jumped in the pile of leaves from the branches above the tree.  They swang in the hammocks.  We ate a meal together, sang the birthday song to our birthday boys, and watched them as they blew out the candles.  Papa lit off some fireworks outside on the street in front of our house, and made an awesome fire in the fire ring.  Then everyone went home and it was time for bed.  Everybody is now finally asleep except for mama.

Another page for the memory book. 

During yoga today, I felt such clarity in so many things in my life.

It felt so good to be there doing yoga, first of all.  I had not been able to go for a week so that was a long time to go without the purification.

I realized that connecting with my aunt on the phone last night was very therapeutic.  She seemed very happy to hear from me.  I thanked her for sending a birthday card to my son, who is her godchild, and she made it sound like, “Of course, that is something I should do.”  My words, not hers.  I realized that even though I still want to make a connection and have my dc connect with some older adults, senior citizens, I will still need to fill other voids.  My aunt could help fill the void of having someone from my own family (my dad’s side) to connect with.  Maybe I will need to find someone to connect with on my mom’s side. 

And I still need someone to help me when I need help with the kids or birthday parties or whatever comes up.

I dedicated my yoga practice today to my birthday boys.  Last night’s blogging was very therapeutic and now I need to put my mindfulness into practice and get off the computer! 

“Love is the greatest commandment on which all other commandments are based;  We are here to bring a particular gift of talent into the world, without which the world would be a poorer place;   Time is a gift that is only given to us moment by moment; The gifts of grace, faith, talent, life, nature and breath are free;  All gifts are given to be given away.”  - Esther Armstrong

It was my 4 yo’s birthday about a week ago.  Both of my sons were born in October and it makes for a busy time.  We took him to the zoo which was fun for the whole family.  We saw a Russian Grizzly Coast exhibit and even saw a grizzly bear up close swimming in the water.  We saw very playful sea otters doing somersaults and various back floats up close.  I could have sat there for a long time watching them play in the frigid water. 

My 4 yo son kept saying it was “the lucky day of his life” and he was walking with an extra spring in his step the whole time.  He seems very proud to be four and seems eager to get bigger and older.  My, how quickly this time passes.  Just the other day he was 3 yo and it seemed like that time would always be there for us.

When I snuggle with him at night now, it is with the knowledge that these days are numbered.  That as much as I want him to be small enough to carry and sweet enough to kiss and hug freely without any embarrassment or hesitation, I realize that it will not always be this way.

So this thinking brings me back to the idea of mindful living.  And this blog.  You would think seeing the name, The Mindful Homeschool, every time I log in would make me want to live more mindfully or at least check myself to see if the day has been mindful, or if my thoughts have been mindful.  Or most importantly, perhaps, if my parenting has been mindful.   Or mindless.

When I do sit and think about it, I worry that so much of my life is so mindless!  So much of my time is spent like there will always be a tomorrow, another day, another opportunity to do it right, mend the bad habit, start anew, become the best mom I can be! 

But sadly, it isn’t so.  My mindless habits are getting worse.  I spend way too much time on the computer these days.  Way too much time in front of a screen when I could be reading a book to my kids, or playing with my dc, or tending to the household chores, or sitting in meditation or practicing yoga, or reading a good book and mindfully doing what I want to be doing with my life.  

Even if I live to be 120 (!), life will be too short.  My children will be small children for only so long.  And I will be at the epicenter of their lives for such a limited time. 

It goes back to one of my previous posts where I wondered why is it that we don’t do what we know we should do?  

My yoga teacher has been saying lately that yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory.   I think life is the same.  I can spend all the ”free time” I have reading blogs and reading emails in search of the perfect parenting techniques, the perfect way to manage my homeschool and personal life and balance out all my needs.  But at some point, I have to say, “Enough.”  And start living and being the person I want to be.    The ”goshdarn” reality is that I have to be there, practicing - living my life.  I have to be parenting, not just reading and writing about parenting.  I have to be homeschooling, not just reading and writing about homeschooling. 

For a person like me who loves to read and write, the internet has been a great way for me to gather information and connect with others.  But I cannot mindlessly allow it to dominate my life.  So somehow, I must start living my life.   And I have to start right now.  Because as the quote above so beautifully articulates, 

“Time is a gift that is only given to us moment by moment;  The gifts of grace, faith, talent, life, nature and breath are free;  All gifts are given to be given away.”

Happy Birthday, H-man!  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  

Today was my 8 yo’s birthday.  We started the day with coffee cake and ended the day with chocolate birthday cake!  We went shopping, ate yummy food, told stories about what W was like when he was little, and swam and “hot-tubbed” at our local health club.  He and his big sister played with his K’nex toys and made some impressive structures, most notably, a big Ferris wheel.  They are planning to do more of the same with the K’nex tomorrow. 

W, my precious 8 yo, expressed how much he was enjoying his day and what I have done for him.  What a grateful kid!  It’s funny because he didn’t receive any lavish presents or lots of birthday wishes from relatives.  As a matter of fact, he received one birthday card in the mail - from his dear aunt.  But he didn’t seem to notice what he might be lacking.  I, on the other hand, worried.  My parents are deceased and he never got to meet them and my dh’s parents live an hour and a half away so he doesn’t have a lot of people doting on him on his special day.  And his best buddy is no longer friends with him (due to some inappropriate behavior we found out about this past summer).  So, of course, I worry.  I worry that he doesn’t have “enough” of whatever it is that makes a child/person happy.  But he was okay.  He knows that we will be celebrating more this weekend with him.  (Usually dh is able to take a vacation day on W’s birthday but not this year.)  And he knows that we will be throwing a big birthday party for him with the cousins and other relatives next week. 

But my little guy, the boy who used to wear colorful, floral dresses just like his beloved sister when he was a toddler, has grown up into a very nice, young boy.  He is smart.  He is sweet.  He is grateful.  And he is loved.

Happy Birthday, W!  When you get a little bit older, we plan to show your friends all those adorable photos of you in the pretty red dress.  You have always looked up to your big sister but pretty soon, based on your growth charts, she is going to be looking up to you!

Luv ya!  XXOOXXOOXXOOXX! 

I have got it.  Don’t know what to do about it.  Stuck.

Here’s the thing.  I don’t know who my audience is.  I want to communicate with other parents and love to talk about yoga and homeschooling and books and poetry and motherhood but …  who is listening?  I have tons to say and I want to use this forum to say it but … is anyone there?

Sigh.  Please let me know if you are. 

Lucy