The Mindful Homeschool

We went bird banding on Wednesday at the local nature center.  It was difficult getting out of the house for the all day event for a number of reasons:  A) H-man said that he didn’t want to go (?!); B) C-chan’s hair needed some serious de-tangling and C) I had to pack lunches for the four of us!  Not something I am used to doing early in the AM!  And my options were very limited, our lunch packing supplies were low, and I heard a little grumbling about the p & j!  But we made it there.  I drove the mini-van while practicing a little pranayama (!) and of course, once we got there we had a great time! 

H-man and I were in a group separate from the older kids which we hadn’t planned for.  The center had not informed us that the kids would be separated by age.  Uggh.  But it worked out fine mainly due to the fact that W and C were able to hang out with the older kids’ group and be with their fellow HS buddies.  (Even though technically W was supposed to be with the little kids group of kids who were 3 - 7 yo).  My good HS friend Cathy was in the group with the older kids.  I am very thankful that she helped coordinate the outing with all the other HS kids from my semi-local group and helped keep an eye on my kids. 

It was really wonderful to be able to watch the naturalist and bird banding volunteers (a HS mom and daughter team, nonetheless) band two chickadees, a hairy woodpecker, and a yellow rump warbler (also known as a myrtle warbler).   We watched as the birds were released back into the wild complete with their new “ankle bracelets”.   All of us had the opportunity to hear a chickadee’s heartbeat; it sounded like a faint purring.  The bird banding volunteer, herself a HSing mom, held the chickadee up to each person’s ear so that we all, even my 3 yo, got a chance to experience it.  The children had a good time doing all of this with other HSing peers. 

I really enjoyed seeing some HS moms I haven’t seen in a long time and enjoyed chatting a bit with some moms I have recently gotten to know.  When we got home I had lots to tell my hubby.  H slept on the back seat of our van which was parked in the driveway while I told Phil all about the day’s events.  I definitely want to go back and see more of the bird banding.  Heck, maybe we could become bird banding volunteers! 

At the end of the day, in addition to the birds that were banded, we saw a red bellied woodpecker, red-winged blackbirds, a red-tailed hawk, a pair of trumpeter swans, and a pair of goldfinches.  At least that is all I can remember right now…. 

We will be back to see more.  We heard that this particular nature center is known as the best birding place in the metro area.  And it is not too far from where we live.  Lucky us!    

I consider myself very fortunate to have this awesome, talented, and gorgeous yoga instructor teaching at our local fitness club. (26)  She is smart; she is knowledgeable; she is strict; she is beautiful; she is strong and she is one of the best yoga teachers I have ever had.  I have learned so much from her and she has inspired me to take my practice farther and deeper.  She has also encouraged us to practice carefully/mindfully so as to avoid injuring ourselves.  (She told us that she wants us to be able to continue doing yoga with her decades from now!) 

Today I was able to go to one of her classes and I had a great workout. (27)  I even attempted bird-of-paradise and was able to do it rather well. (28)  Not perfectly, not even close, but well enough for Kristina, my teacher, to say, “Gorgeous, Lucy!”  Now I know that you are not going to see me on the cover of Yoga Journal doing bird-of-paradise anytime soon but nonetheless, there is something to be said about being complimented in a class full of other students.  Being acknowledged for attempting the pose and being somewhat successful is a huge day brightener!

I told my dh not too long ago that if it weren’t for yoga, I would not be HSing.  Now I cannot say that with total certainty but I do know that yoga helps me relieve stress.  It helps me stay clear-headed enough to deal with all the extra stressors that parenting and HSing bring on.  I remember that in one of my first classes with Kristina, she complimented me on my practice and my flexibility.  Well, it is true that a good compliment can last a person a week or more.  That compliment was one of the first genuine compliments I had had in months, maybe years.  As a SAHM, and as a HS mom, I find the compliments on my work as a parent and a teacher to be extremely rare.  So hearing those words of praise from this gorgeous instructor made my heart sing and kept me flying high for quite a while.

Yoga seems to be something my body cries out for.  After practicing for about 18 months or so, I can tell when my body needs a good stretch.  Doing sun salutations and other basic poses make me feel so good.  Through my study of yoga, I have learned more about what makes a good teacher.  I have learned about Sanskrit, about what poses are good for what conditions, and how to do certain poses safely.  My children have been learning right along with me.  They know a lot of the poses and they know some of the sanskrit words used to describe certain the different asanas or poses.  They are also learning that the learning you do in life does not stop when you reach a certain age.  Learning is a life-long journey we all need to embark on.  Daily.

I hope that I will never grow tired of yoga.  Studying and practicing yoga has been a life-transforming experience and I hope that my enthusiasm for this ancient practice will inspire others to check it out for themselves.

C had art class today.  The featured artist was Claude Monet.  As usual, she had a good time and came home with some lovely art.  We have always thought of her as our artist-in-residence so I am so grateful that she is taking these art classes with a wonderful teacher who is fun, kind and creative.  Oh, and she also knows her art!  I am grateful that my daughter has been given these opportunities to learn more about and practice more art.  My deep gratitude goes out to her teacher and those who arranged the classes for our HS group. (23)

We also went shopping for shoes for the children.  We bought a pair for each of the boys; they ended up with the same shoe only in different sizes!  (For the second year in a row!)  I am grateful that we have money to buy things like this and that we don’t have to put it on our credit card.  (24)  I have been reading lately about HSers who are facing very difficult times financially and otherwise.  Of course, these financial troubles are affecting everyone, not just those of us in the HSing communities.  I am grateful for dh’s steady employment (25) and my thoughts and heart go out to those who are facing a lot of financial uncertainties and stress right now. 

Both of the boys are so excited about their new shoes.  My 3 yo was especially happy and he told me, “You have a nice family!”  LOL. 

Ann Voskamp at Holy Experience has inspired me to write this list of 1000 gifts.  It is a list of gifts I have.  I think it is so easy to focus on what I don’t have and what I want that it is easy to lose sight of what I have.  I am hoping this exercise will help me stayed focused on the here and now and all that has been bestowed upon me.  It has been much too easy lately to get into a rut of wishing for things I don’t have, things that others have, things that I lack.  Focusing on what I do have, I hope, will make me realize how blessed I am. 

I am grateful for another day.  (22)  I am grateful for the blogging community which never fails to inspire me.  (23)

For more information, please check out Ann’s Blog:  http://aholyexperience.com/

I am grateful for the opportunity to express myself through the written word. (1)  I am grateful for my physical health and wellbeing. (2)  I am grateful for this free blog! (3)  I am grateful for my mental health. (4)  I am grateful that I have discovered the transformative power of yoga. (5)  I am grateful for my education, something my parents, esp. my mother, sacrificed a great deal to give to me and my siblings. (6)   I am grateful for my life, being given yet another day in which to love and be loved. (7)  I am grateful for my three beautiful children and my loving husband. (8-11)  I am grateful for the sun shining bright and beautiful. (12)   I am grateful for my home. (13)  I am grateful for poetry and poets. (14)  I am grateful for our public library system and our town’s beautiful new library. (15)  I am grateful for running water that is clean and oh-so convenient. (16)  I am grateful for the ability to smell (17).  I am grateful for the health of my children and family. (18)  I am grateful for this time alone and the ability to type without interruptions. (19)  I am grateful for the trees, birds, blue sky and all that nature brings to us on a daily basis.  (20)  I am grateful for the owl hooting outside my window. (21) 

Easing Stress with Gratitude

*This post is reprinted in its entirety by permission of Ann Voskamp at Holy Experience.

Interested in Easing Parental Stress?

A university student (and mother) who reads here contacted me, inquiring if any parent who passes through this out of the way place might be interested in participating in a research study to reduce parental stress— through practising gratitude… Yes! Care to join me?

She writes:

WANTED: Parents who desire to reduce child-related stress.

COST: A little bit of your time.

PERKS: Improved outlook and better parenting relationships! HOW? Introducing an exciting study in the works with an outcome that will benefit you! We are happy to present you with the chance to participate and hope that you will find this helpful to your daily life. Read on for more information ~

The Purpose of the Study:

- To consider gratitude as a method for reducing stress in parenting
- To measure instances of parenting stress using the method below
- To measure the potential benefits (and maintenance) of gratitude as a means of stress reduction in parenting

The Method of the Study:

The 2 Simple Steps:

[Prior to beginning, compile a list of 10 specifics for which you are grateful. This should make the required expressions of gratitude easier.]

#1: When you experience a moment of stress related to one or more of your children, “reset” your thinking by verbally expressing gratitude, either in reaction to the current stressor, or by reading/saying something from your list.

#2: Add a mark to your daily tally (so that we have a record of how many times this happens each day).

That’s it.

This exercise will be carried out for seven days, beginning on Tuesday, April 1st, followed by a seven day break, and then repeated for a second seven day period.

If you want to participate, please e-mail gratitude.study@gmail.com by Tuesday so we can have an idea of the size of the study. Give your name, age, and gender—although you are welcome to participate anonymously, if you like. Feel free to spread the word to as many adults that you know that wish to participate. (This would make a fun project to do with friends and/or a spouse—men being specifically encouraged to participate as most studies tend to neglect the impact of gratitude from a male perspective.)

What’s in this for you?

Multiple studies have shown that people who feel more gratitude are much more likely to have higher levels of happiness, lower levels of depression and stress. They are seen as more empathetic, agreeable, and extraverted. Grateful people should be more likely to notice they have been helped, to respond appropriately, and to return the help at some future point.

You mean, you’ll get all that, just by adding some gratitude to your life? YES!

Definitions, for the purpose of this study:

Gratitude: Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking time to express thanks.

Parenting Stress is defined as those moments when life as a parent seems overwhelmingly unpredictable and uncontrollable (based on the 10-item Perceived Stress Scale). Within the context of parenting,

- you become upset because of something that happens unexpectedly.
- you feel you are unable to control the important things in your life.
- you feel nervous and “stressed.”
- you feel you cannot cope with all the things you have to do.
- you become angry because things are outside of your control.
- you feel difficulties are piling up so high that you cannot overcome them.

Obviously, this will be a largely subjective assessment—that is the difficulty in measuring an emotional state. Just try to be as aware as possible.

Thank you! We look forward to sharing the results of the study.

Join us at gratitude.study@gmail.com by Tuesday.
(Feel free to repost this post in its entirety. Let’s give thanks in all things!)

(Lucy says: It looks like we missed the deadline.  I just heard about it yesterday but love the idea just the same….)

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

-Robert Frost

This is the poem that my former college professor recited to his students on more than one occasion.  It was said that he made many of his students memorize this poem.  At his funeral mass at the Basilica of Saint Mary, three poems were read.  The last one was this poem by Robert Frost.  The whole congregation was invited to read it out loud together. 

I learned a lot from this gentle and humble writer, poet and teacher.  I am grateful that I was able to be a student and a writer in Jon Hassler’s classes.  I wish that he had more time to spend here on earth with all of us.  The literary world has lost a good writer, friend and teacher.  I plan to re-read some of his works this year.  And I plan to memorize this poem.  Jon Hassler died on March 20, on the cusp of springtime.  He left this world much too soon.  But his words, his books and the lessons he has taught all of us will go on forever.

So here was the quickly devised plan for today:

• Make pink heart-shaped pancakes for lunch or supper. 
• Make Valentine’s card for Dad.
• Give out v day cards to neighbors.
• Hand out Spanish “corazones dulces” sweet hearts to kids and try to translate into English.  Might need help from internet.
• Math work and copy work.
• Kids get half-hour on Webkinz.
• Shovel snow on driveway and pond.  Go ice skating.
• Possibly head to store for fresh flowers and more strawberries.
• Eat really good chocolate.
• Pick up house and decorate table with Valentine candles and red and white table gems for dinner before heading to pond.
• Dress in red clothes.
• Laundry.
• Focus on what I am grateful for and write in my blog.
• Focus on being in the moment with my kids.
• Yoga and me time.

We didn’t get out to the pond for some ice skating today.  It was much too cold and we were busy inside until Papa came home.  And as you can see, I did get a lot done but not everything.  And I even managed to “trim” the boys’ hair.  When I give them haircuts, it’s a three day process.  They don’t sit still long enough and the next few days after the initial “trim” are spent neatening everything up.  So that and dealing with a 3 yo who wouldn’t nap took time away from the plan.  And of course, I still have a bit of time left to do yoga, have me time and concentrate on what I feel grateful for. 

It’s a good thing I put “focus on what I am grateful for” on my to-do list.  I was losing sight of all that this afternoon.  H-man wasn’t napping and that meant no time for mommy to sit and have a cup of tea all alone.  Thankfully, the older kids stepped in and watched/entertained my little guy for me.  By 4:00 in the afternoon, I get cranky if I don’t get a break and take time for myself.  Unfortunately, the break I took only fueled my frustrations with my lot in life.  

Here’s what happened.  I got on the internet and checked my emails.  Big mistake.  Looking back, I should have made a cup of tea, asked the kids to watch H-man and read from my book, Meditations from the Mat.  That would have put me in the right frame of mind and I might have even made time to do a little yoga.  But no, I checked my crazy, ever prolific emails.  There were so many posts and I tried to weed through them but it was no easy task.  There was a particular thread about hubbies and Valentine’s day that caught my attention and I started to read everyone’s, becoming gloomier and gloomier as I went on.  Sigh.  Stories about doting husbands giving jewelry, roses and other expensive gifts; husbands surprising wives and children with reservations at restaurants; all sorts of lovely gestures.  But it made me feel a bit down.   

Don’t get me wrong.  My dh is a great guy but Valentine’s day has never been an occasion for diamonds, lavish gifts, surprise dinner reservations and extravagant showers of affection.  We are what some might call “simple” people.  We rarely put money into those kinds of luxuries anymore.  Not since we had kids and took our “vows of poverty”.  lol.  Tulips and daisies, yes.  Dark chocolate, yes.  Diamonds, no.  (Well, except for our engagement).  And these emails were detailing all these thoughtful but somewhat lavish gifts of affection and attention.  Meanwhile, I am at home with the children having spent a day of doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding, toilet training, nursing, teaching, and I am getting crankier by the minute.

And then I thought about my plan for the day.  My plan to focus on what I am grateful for and my mood started to lighten, little by little. 

I am so grateful for my dh, my children, my family, and our health, among other things.  I am grateful for my brother’s return to health and for caring family members (sisters-in-law included).  For the warmth of our home and for all of our modern day comforts.  For good food, access to health care and public libraries.  For a healthy mind and body.  For yoga and its unlimited potential.  For the love of my children, their smiles, their giggles, their sweetness and the joy they bring into my life.  For my dear husband and all that he does for me and our children.  Every day.  Without fail.  For every moment I have been given.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I guess it’s all how you look at it sometimes.   

Two nights ago we took an unexpected trip to the hospital ER.  Dh was experiencing tingling sensations in his fingers and feet and when he explained the condition to the nurse over the phone, she recommended that he get someone to drive him to the ER.  So there we were bundling into the mini-van at 7:oo-ish in the frigid, dark night with the 3 kids and a whole lot of activity bags.  I did the driving which felt weird (usually that is something the hubby does when we do any trips as a family).  Dh was able to  get into see a doctor right away which was good.  The kids and I waited in the lobby for most of the time and they behaved very well, esp. considering that it lasted about 2 1/2 hours.  We were lucky enough to be able to pass the time with a woman named Alyssa.  Her job must have been to make people in the lobby feel better and she was good at it.  She gaved the kids balloons, plush toys and coloring books.  The coloring book was about being in the ER which was lost on the kids but it was such a nice gesture and helped the kids pass the time.  The ER doctor, if you can believe this, turned out to be Mike, from down the street.  He discharged Hubby after about 2 1/2 hours of testing and told us we could call him anytime if we have any concerns.  

The only bad part about the experience, aside from the stress of it all, was knowing that there would be a big fat bill in our mailbox in the weeks to come.  But I am trying to let go of that and focus on the positive.  And who knows, maybe our financial picture will be brighter this year.  Who knows what is in store for any of us this year?  Just need to focus on what we have right now: our health and each other.  There were a lot of people in the ER last night that were not going to get the “okay/all clear” to go home that evening.  I saw grown men and women crying.  We were the lucky ones there. 

We left the hospital with three balloons, some cute and cuddly plush toys and Daddy.  

I know that to be working in an environment like that takes a special sort of person, a special calling.  Not the life for me.  A lot of people have said that they could not homeschool for this or that reason.  I understand that HSing is not for everyone.  I, however, do feel in my heart that this is what I am supposed to be doing right now.   Even though I have moments when I find it overwhelming.  But it is what feels right for me right now.  At this time in my life.  And we are just going to take it one day at a time, one moment at a time.

And so, in the interest of saluting what I think might be one of the hardest jobs in the world, I would like to say a prayer of thanksgiving to all the men and women who work in the medical profession, especially the ERs.  May they continue to bring aid and comfort to those who in need.