The Mindful Homeschool

Today was my 8 yo’s birthday.  We started the day with coffee cake and ended the day with chocolate birthday cake!  We went shopping, ate yummy food, told stories about what W was like when he was little, and swam and “hot-tubbed” at our local health club.  He and his big sister played with his K’nex toys and made some impressive structures, most notably, a big Ferris wheel.  They are planning to do more of the same with the K’nex tomorrow. 

W, my precious 8 yo, expressed how much he was enjoying his day and what I have done for him.  What a grateful kid!  It’s funny because he didn’t receive any lavish presents or lots of birthday wishes from relatives.  As a matter of fact, he received one birthday card in the mail - from his dear aunt.  But he didn’t seem to notice what he might be lacking.  I, on the other hand, worried.  My parents are deceased and he never got to meet them and my dh’s parents live an hour and a half away so he doesn’t have a lot of people doting on him on his special day.  And his best buddy is no longer friends with him (due to some inappropriate behavior we found out about this past summer).  So, of course, I worry.  I worry that he doesn’t have “enough” of whatever it is that makes a child/person happy.  But he was okay.  He knows that we will be celebrating more this weekend with him.  (Usually dh is able to take a vacation day on W’s birthday but not this year.)  And he knows that we will be throwing a big birthday party for him with the cousins and other relatives next week. 

But my little guy, the boy who used to wear colorful, floral dresses just like his beloved sister when he was a toddler, has grown up into a very nice, young boy.  He is smart.  He is sweet.  He is grateful.  And he is loved.

Happy Birthday, W!  When you get a little bit older, we plan to show your friends all those adorable photos of you in the pretty red dress.  You have always looked up to your big sister but pretty soon, based on your growth charts, she is going to be looking up to you!

Luv ya!  XXOOXXOOXXOOXX! 

I am always amazed …

… that doing just 10 minutes of yoga stretches and mindful breathing can make me feel so much better.

… how much my 7 yo son loves animals.  (On Friday we saw chickens at a farm we were visiting.  W just adored them.  I guess I am going to have to work on getting him a pet of his own.)

… how much I love to walk on clean floors and how it can truly brighten my day, sometimes my week.

… how a good book can change your life, or at least your perspective on your life.

… how passionately I feel about politics, the issues, and the politicians themselves.

… that I don’t always do all the things I am supposed to do to stay healthy, like eating broccoli (!) and exercising regularly and meditating, etc.,  when I know how good they are for one’s health and well-being.

… how much time I can spend on the computer these days.

… how strong the bond is between a parent and a child and how much I love my children.

Yesterday we hosted a sleepover with the cousins.  I made the kids earn it this time.  I told them they would have to prove to me and my dh that they were worthy of one.  This meant no fighting and they would have to help with things around the house.   And … they would have to convince their father.  They did surprisingly well.

We ended up going to a baseball game and then drove back home for the sleepover.  After watching a little of the Olympics and a few episodes from our Tom and Jerry DVD, the kids got ready for bed.  It took a while for all of them to settle down but I do believe they were tired!

It is good to have new energy in the house, to hear the cousins exchanging stories and laughing, and to see all the smiles on the kids’ faces.  It is a always a good thing when the cousins get together.  I am thankful that the kids play so well together and have a ton of fun.   

First of all, did you know that not all of the Olympic competition takes place in Beijing?  Some of the competitions are as far away as Hong Kong.  Hong Kong is about as far away from Beijing as New York City is from Miami!  But that doesn’t make these Olympics any less spectacular.

We watched the Opening Ceremonies on Friday night.  It was beautiful, breathtaking and just plain gorgeous.  I loved seeing the big scroll on the floor and watching the dancers, the drummers, and the Chinese characters throughout the ceremony.  The costumes were gorgeous, the symbolism was poignant, and the show was flawlessly performed by no fewer than 15,000 people.  I am so glad that we were able to watch it, all of us together as a family.  The children really seemed to appreciate the artistry and beauty of it all, too.

The games are taking me by surprise this time.  I hadn’t intended to watch Michael Phelps but I did see him win his first, second and third gold and I am now a big fan.  I saw a story about how his mother raised him and his two children by herself and it really moved me.  His mother said that when he was a kid she realized he needed an outlet for all of his energy and decided to place him in a swimming program.  That was the beginning for him.  Being a mother of three active children, I can relate to this story.

The kids are fired up about these Olympics.  They have been running outside around the house doing their “track and field”.  They have been doing “routines” off the swing set.  And they are adamant that they don’t miss an evening of watching these Olympic Games.  H-man has been cheering for Michael Phelps even when we are watching the women’s swimming competions!

Tonight after one of H-man’s races around the house, he was sad that he wasn’t fast enough to beat his siblings.   I told him that he was still growing and that as he got bigger he would get stronger and faster.  So what does he do?  He tells me that he wants to eat a lot of veggies and nuts to grow bigger!  So I got out the walnuts and started feeding him!  He is such an athletic child; it will be interesting to see what sports he takes up when he gets older.

C is interested in gymnastics and we plan to look into signing her up for lessons close to home.  I am excited that she wants to do this.  William has not asked to do any specific sports and I will continue to look for something that would be a good fit for him.  He is asking for rollerblades these days.  He has been wearing mine and he is very good.  He was really good at ice skating last winter so I guess it makes sense that he would learn how to blade quickly.

I am still taking my yoga classes and loving it.  And I still do believe that yoga is the answer to everything!  LOL!  Hubby is running and biking these days and looking good.  He is slowly losing weight and feeling really good about that.  It is good to have such a healthy, active family.    

Last week was a tough week.  It would be difficult to go into details right now but let’s just say … that it was a difficult week.  My family learned that a boy in the neighborhood had been behaving badly with my 3 yo son.  He had been having secret meetings in the bushes with my child and … it is very upsetting.  What made the whole situation worse was the fact that the boy’s mother denies that her child would behave in such a way.  She said it was completely “out of character” for her son to act like that and then told me it was all my 3 yo’s doing!  This has shaken me and my family.

But we are moving on.

I am thankful that my children were smart and persistent enough to investigate these ”secret meetings”.  My dh and I had no idea.  And thankfully, my 3 yo seems to be okay and not affected by what happened.  I, on the other hand, feel angry that my neighbor of 11 years is denying what happened.  Her children have not told her the truth and she seems to be refusing to see her child as who he is: a boy who may need help and professional counseling.

I am struggling a bit with what to do with the boy’s mom.  When I first told her what had happened I tried to be gentle with the information I had.  I did not want to overwhelm her.  I did not want to accuse her son of malicious intent.  And I didn’t certainly didn’t want to make enemies with her.  But her response was so … in defense of her child.  She seemed as if she could not come to terms with the idea that her son could do such a thing.  It made me angry.  She said it was all my son’s doing!   She tells me this after a brief (maybe 10 minutes or less) conversation with her elder daughter. 

I don’t like being told my 3.5 yo is responsible for something her 8.5 yo did.  So we are back to being on not such good terms with the neighbors again.  It is okay.  This time I know that there is nothing I can do to fix the relationship.  I have tried hard to be a good neighbor.  I have been slow to get angry with her children when they have left messes in our yard, or stepped on our gutters, or dug holes in our yard, or accidentally injured our children.  But this time is different.  I need to keep my children safe.  And I need to prevent this from happening ever again. 

So this is the end of all that and the beginning of something else.  I pray that my children will find friends who are good and kind and honest.  Friends who treat them well and act with integrity.

This is my prayer. 

C-chan is really into mythology again.  She loves this book called D’Aulaires’ Book of Greek Myths that we have borrowed from the library over and over again.  She has read it numerous times and now knows much more than I do regarding mythology.  She has taught her younger brother much more than I know about Greek myths.  I don’t think I even had a class in mythology until I went to college.  That was the first I had heard of Icarus and other mythological characters.  Maybe it was because I went to a private Christian school???  The only character I know that C had not heard of was Bacchus, the god of wine.  (I think this is because there was a group at college with this name but my recollections are quite fuzzy.)

Anyway, this interest in mythology has been fueled even more by another series of books that deal with mythological characters.  The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan and the other books in the series have been keeping her happy and busy reading this summer.  She told one of her good homeschooling friends about this book and this friend also liked it.  Seeing as C-chan reads much faster than I can, I am glad that she has another buddy with whom she can converse re: her latest book finds.

W is enjoying reading Hardy Boys books.  I just picked up one for him at Barnes and Noble that we were unable to borrow from the library.  He was so excited that I had gotten it for him.  We are still reading to him at night and I am so glad that he has truly developed a love of books.  Yay!  For me right now, seeing my kids reading and loving books makes me really happy and very proud.

We had Vacation Bible School this week which the older kids thought was a blast.  H-man wasn’t so sure.  I stayed with him and the other preschoolers in his group.   I think that is partly to blame for my miserable cold.  C came down with something on Thursday night and because of that we ended up not going to VBS on Friday.  Then on Friday afternoon I started feeling all achey in the head and am still not feeling like I am back to normal.  I think I was exposed to an awful lot of germs when I was with the 3 and 4 year olds.  I will spare you the details but let’s just say my immune system was not strong enough to fight off the attack.  Of course, I feel bad that we missed not only Friday’s VBS but we also missed the celebration on Saturday night.  Oh well, C is getting back to her old self and soon my summer cold will be a distant memory as well. 

(I wonder if my lack of time spent on the mat was what made me so vulnerable.  I remember my former yoga teacher, Karen, saying that balancing poses helped to strengthen the immune system.  Next year if H-man wants to do VBS, I will have to remember to do a lot of tree poses that week!  Last month, according to my health fitness club’s records, I went to the club (i.e. yoga class) only 9 times.  This month I plan to go a lot more.)

The kids enjoyed VBS so much I was thinking it would be good to incorporate some of the ideas into our “school year”.  They enjoyed the different crafts, snacks and drama presentations that were scheduled into each day.  And it seemed as if they really enjoyed singing and dancing to all the VBS songs.  The downside of all this was having to adhere to a fairly inflexible schedule.  When the time was up for crafts, we had to stop even if we were in the “flow” of doing something and not yet done with our craft.  Same with snack time.  We were given a certain amount of time to finish our snacks (sometimes as little as 3 minutes due to a scheduling mistake) and the children were instructed to throw their food in the trash bag even if they weren’t done with it.  Although I can understand the reasoning behind all of this, it seemed wasteful and just plain wrong.

But overall, we had a really good week.  C and W laughed a ton while relaying VBS stories to me.  I heard my kids singing VBS songs in the shower and under the kitchen table.  And they also did a great job learning their dance moves and participating in the huge gymnasium “Sing and Play” time at the beginning and ending of each day.

Yesterday was cloudy and cold and everybody was dragging.  It has been a long winter here for which I have no complaints.  It has been great for ice skating and sledding and snowboarding and just plain playing outside.  But it is April and thoughts are turning towards spring and warm weather and the growing season.  We are ready to let go of the winter weather and move into a new season.  Papa had a bad headache and I was needing a good nap to perk me up.  And it was that time of the day when we usually stop and have a bite to eat and I indulge myself with hot tea and something yummy.  

The other night I had read something on the internet about HSers who regularly participated in Tuesday Teatime, a time when all else is put aside so that one can put on a special tea party for their children complete with china, treats and hot beverages.  During this tea time, the children are invited to read poems and of course, the moms, too, take the opportunity to read from some of their favorite poets.

 Yesterday, despite my low energy level, I was able to accomplish putting together a “Tuesday teatime” even though it was Saturday.  Somehow, I found the energy to lay out one of my late mother’s table cloths and busy myself with making the table look warm and inviting.  There were lighted candles, teapots, fancy china tea cups, saucers and plates.  There were lovely little decorated Easter eggs adorning the table and there was my family sitting around the table.  Even my dh, who had been lying on the couch, joined us and seemed pleased with the layout of food and fineries.   I was impressed that a little effort toward making a beautiful table for tea time could bring the family together and lighten the mood the way that it did.  My dear husband even added to the ambiance by putting Bon Iver in the CD player - a perfect match for our day.  I would like to do this Tuesday Teatime once a week, if possible.  I plan to read bits of poetry and maybe some other books to the kids during this time.  Saturday’s tea time was such a day brightener, I have got to do it again.

In honor of my birthday, we took a mini-vacation last weekend.  We stayed one night at a lovely cottage “treehouse” in Wisconsin.  It was awesome.  Everything we wanted it to be and more.  But no real easy way to describe it.  The treehouse cottage was built into a bluff overlooking the Mississippi River and it took 86 steps from the parking lot to our cottage.  And it was one of the closer cottages to the parking lot!  The other cottages would have required even more climbing. 

The cottages overlooked the Mississippi river and the views were gorgeous.  We didn’t see any bald eagles from the windows of our little home away from home but outside we did see wild turkeys and my dear husband saw bald eagles flying high above the bluff.  It was magical.

I cannot wait to go back and spend more time there.   The only downside was that the accomodations were a tad expensive and so it was hard to justify staying there more than one night.  That was one of the main reasons we have never gone there even though we have known about these cottages for about three years.  It just seemed so extravagant, especially for our family.  But vacations are so important for the health of a family, I do believe.  It is what the children remember when they are grown up.  W had a hard time leaving, I think.  He and the other children really wanted to stay longer.  That was the only bummer on the trip.  Leaving.  But I told the children that we would come back.  I just need to figure out when and how.  Celia has requested that we go back for her birthday which I am considering.  She said that she would want to stay two nights because she will be turning double digits this year!  I guess we better start serving more peanut butter sandwiches. 

Of course, I want my dear children to have a much longer vacation too and I plan to work on finding a way to travel more with our kids.  But this was a great start.  It helped whet the appetite for some more family adventures and made me even more cognizant of how much everyone enjoys them.

Now we are thinking about taking the kids to see Mount Rushmore.  I have never been there but I have heard good things.  That would make for an awesome family adventure, I do believe.  In preparation for the trip I plan to do a lot of reading about the great presidents and the history of our country.  Educational and fun, now that’s a good thing! 

C had her art class on Friday.  She was one of three students in the class which meant she and the other students had more individualized attention from the teacher.  She, as usual, had a lot of fun and created some really neat art, a Fante flag.

The Fante people of Ghana, West Africa, have been making brightly colored patchwork flags for over six hundred years.  The flags are paraded through the streets of towns and villages at festivals and at the funerals of important people. 

Fante flags are sometimes made of cotton, silk, satin or felt.  Sometimes they are embroidered to give them an even more interesting texture and look.  There can be as many as 15 different colors on one flag.

The pictures sewn on the flags tell stories of historical events or African proverbs.  They show details of the beliefs and traditions of the Fante.   

Each student in C’s class made a flag of their own from felt applied to a very thick piece of paper.  The flag C created has a bright red border with a dark black and blue rectangle at the upper left hand corner.  The center of the flag is blue with a white unicorn in the middle of it.  There is a colorful rainbow in the lower right-hand corner of the blue rectangular center. 

“The magical menagerie” is the name of the company on which her flag is based.  I plan to ask her more about how she came up with the name and what it means.

While C was at art class, H, W, and I went shopping.  We picked up some Valentine clearance items, including some adorable “Sweater bears”.  They are polar bear plush toys with soft sweaters with hearts on them.  The children have been playing with them ever since they got them.  These bears are so cute that I am starting to play with them!

W has been interested in polar bears ever since he was little.  He received an adorable plush toy one from Santa one year.   He reminds us to pray for them during bedtime prayers every night.  He is concerned about them becoming endangered species.  He knows that global warming is affecting their living conditions and that this may be reducing their numbers.  

We have learned a lot about polar bears over the past few years and like W, I pray that the effects of global warming will be reversed and the polar bears will once again have lots of ice on which to roam.  Polar bears are the largest carnivorous mammals in the world.  They are famously devoted mothers and stay with their cubs until they are 30 months old.  They “attachment parent” and nurse their young for up to 30 months.  It is only when the cubs are ready to hunt and fend for themselves that they are separated.  Once I was asked the question, “If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?”  I told them I would like to be a polar bear because they are such good mothers.

God bless these animals and keep them safe.  

So here was the quickly devised plan for today:

• Make pink heart-shaped pancakes for lunch or supper. 
• Make Valentine’s card for Dad.
• Give out v day cards to neighbors.
• Hand out Spanish “corazones dulces” sweet hearts to kids and try to translate into English.  Might need help from internet.
• Math work and copy work.
• Kids get half-hour on Webkinz.
• Shovel snow on driveway and pond.  Go ice skating.
• Possibly head to store for fresh flowers and more strawberries.
• Eat really good chocolate.
• Pick up house and decorate table with Valentine candles and red and white table gems for dinner before heading to pond.
• Dress in red clothes.
• Laundry.
• Focus on what I am grateful for and write in my blog.
• Focus on being in the moment with my kids.
• Yoga and me time.

We didn’t get out to the pond for some ice skating today.  It was much too cold and we were busy inside until Papa came home.  And as you can see, I did get a lot done but not everything.  And I even managed to “trim” the boys’ hair.  When I give them haircuts, it’s a three day process.  They don’t sit still long enough and the next few days after the initial “trim” are spent neatening everything up.  So that and dealing with a 3 yo who wouldn’t nap took time away from the plan.  And of course, I still have a bit of time left to do yoga, have me time and concentrate on what I feel grateful for. 

It’s a good thing I put “focus on what I am grateful for” on my to-do list.  I was losing sight of all that this afternoon.  H-man wasn’t napping and that meant no time for mommy to sit and have a cup of tea all alone.  Thankfully, the older kids stepped in and watched/entertained my little guy for me.  By 4:00 in the afternoon, I get cranky if I don’t get a break and take time for myself.  Unfortunately, the break I took only fueled my frustrations with my lot in life.  

Here’s what happened.  I got on the internet and checked my emails.  Big mistake.  Looking back, I should have made a cup of tea, asked the kids to watch H-man and read from my book, Meditations from the Mat.  That would have put me in the right frame of mind and I might have even made time to do a little yoga.  But no, I checked my crazy, ever prolific emails.  There were so many posts and I tried to weed through them but it was no easy task.  There was a particular thread about hubbies and Valentine’s day that caught my attention and I started to read everyone’s, becoming gloomier and gloomier as I went on.  Sigh.  Stories about doting husbands giving jewelry, roses and other expensive gifts; husbands surprising wives and children with reservations at restaurants; all sorts of lovely gestures.  But it made me feel a bit down.   

Don’t get me wrong.  My dh is a great guy but Valentine’s day has never been an occasion for diamonds, lavish gifts, surprise dinner reservations and extravagant showers of affection.  We are what some might call “simple” people.  We rarely put money into those kinds of luxuries anymore.  Not since we had kids and took our “vows of poverty”.  lol.  Tulips and daisies, yes.  Dark chocolate, yes.  Diamonds, no.  (Well, except for our engagement).  And these emails were detailing all these thoughtful but somewhat lavish gifts of affection and attention.  Meanwhile, I am at home with the children having spent a day of doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, feeding, toilet training, nursing, teaching, and I am getting crankier by the minute.

And then I thought about my plan for the day.  My plan to focus on what I am grateful for and my mood started to lighten, little by little. 

I am so grateful for my dh, my children, my family, and our health, among other things.  I am grateful for my brother’s return to health and for caring family members (sisters-in-law included).  For the warmth of our home and for all of our modern day comforts.  For good food, access to health care and public libraries.  For a healthy mind and body.  For yoga and its unlimited potential.  For the love of my children, their smiles, their giggles, their sweetness and the joy they bring into my life.  For my dear husband and all that he does for me and our children.  Every day.  Without fail.  For every moment I have been given.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I guess it’s all how you look at it sometimes.