The Mindful Homeschool

I hurt my back about a month ago.  I was sitting on the living room floor playing cards with my 4 yo son and when I stood up, I hurt something.  Later that night I could not sit comfortably and I was in a lot of pain.  When I lay down for sleep that night, it was with fear of more pain and very little mobility.  Fast forward to today.  It still hurts.  It has gotten much better.  The intensity of the pain went away after about a couple of days.  But I felt that I needed to get it checked out by a doctor just to rule out any other issues and to help me with my recovery.  The doctor told me that I have a musculoskeletal injury and he recommended physical therapy.

So I am thinking about trying a session of physical therapy.  Maybe just one time.  I am curious what they will teach me and curious about what PTs do.  But I am also borrowing a DVD from the libary that I just love.  Or rather I love the teacher, Peggy Cappy.  Her DVD, Yoga for the Rest of Us: Back Care Basics has inspired me to start my own home practice again.  I have even thought about setting the alarm and getting up and doing yoga way before the kids wake up.  I know!   I am so inspired by her.  She is inspirational and she has dedicated her life to yoga and helping other people.  Her yoga is full of hope and positive energy and I feel that if I practice with her on a daily basis, I will not only heal but strengthen my back so I do not injure it again. 

I even bought a beautiful new Eco Conscious GAIAM mat at Target last night to celebrate my re-birth, if you will.  Can you tell I am excited?  Maybe I will even be able to drop those 10 lbs. or so that I gained over the winter, possibly from skipping out on my regular yoga classes. 

Namaste.

LIVE

YOUR

LIFE

…so I will try to make this pretty short.  (My husband told me that if I get on the phone today to talk to my sister-in-law about all of my holiday shopping troubles,  I should try not to be too “whiny”.  Hmmm.)

One day to go and we are still shopping and cleaning.  We have yet to start wrapping.  I have promised myself at least 10 minutes on the yoga mat today.  The holiday preparations and all the work I need to do has made me forgetful and so I have missed the last two days of yoga classes at my club.  When I realized this, I was so disappointed.  I need the workout and a “work-in” even more.

So far this month the kids have slept in the living room with the Christmas tree.  They have shoveled lots of snow and built snow forts and gone sledding down our hill.  They have painted with watercolors.  They have skated outdoors at our neighborhood park and indoors at an ice arena.  They have made Christmas cookies and dipped pretzels in almond bark.  And now the countdown begins to one of the biggest days of the year.

For me, there will be lots of deep breaths and mindfulness practice over here.  We have about 20 people coming over for a holiday get-together tomorrow and my eldest seems really tired and wiped out.  I sure hope it is not from the Christmas tree and any mold allergy she might have.  It could be from some dairy she consumed yesterday.  We have sent out all but one of our Christmas cards.  The one that remains to be sent is going to Japan and I need help with the postage.

If ever there was a time to practice mindfulness, it would be right now.  I don’t want to miss the joy of the season by stressing out over things I have little or no control over.  The important things like being with family and our relationships should not take a back seat to all the other mental clutter.  

This year I plan to take lots of photos, something we usually forget to do.  Then I plan to learn how to add them to my blog.  I think photographing the moments will help me focus on the present moment, a gift we are constantly receiving.  You have heard that line, right?  (That is why we call it the present?  Because it is a gift.  It is something I have heard often in my yoga classes this year.) 

And now, I am off to do some relaxing yoga poses.  

To all of you who have taken the time to read my blog: Happy holidays and may peace, hope, joy and love reign in your hearts this season. 

Namaste,

Lucy     

Okay, -12 is really cold.  I will not lie.  But on the positive side, our house is warm.  We keep it in the upper 60s most of the day and turn it down a bit at night.  (We would turn the thermostat down even more if it weren’t for our Betta fish.)  So even though it is freezing cold outside; inside we are warm and cozy, for the most part.

I am trying to find ways to be positive about all of this.   I am sure many will find this strange but I am super excited about the new long underwear I ordered yesterday from Hanna Andersson.  I llove Hanna Andersson clothing!  I figured that I deserve soft, high quality long johns as much as my kids and I won’t be outgrowing MY pair so I can justify the expense.  They were on sale this past week and I got a good deal but it wasn’t cheap and I had to pay for shipping, something I hate to do.  But I am glad that I placed the order.  I am super excited about it.  Weird, huh?

We went ice skating yesterday at the park.  Well, the kids and hubby went skating and I hung out there with them.  It was really cold with the wind blowing down on us.  But not as cold as today.  My husband advised against driving to the club today for my yoga workout.  That was not easy for me to give it up.  I get my best workouts on Monday afternoons with Kristina teaching.  I have not done yoga since last Wednesday and I am starting to feel it.  I plan to do SOMETHING tomorrow that is active even if it means walking around my 2000 square foot house for a half hour.

My dear, dear friend Mieko called from Japan tonight.  She is 70 years old and very healthy and energetic.  She was telling me that she runs on her treadmill every day now and walks with a friend outside even in winter for an hour 4 times a week.  I am inspired by her to do more.   If she can do it, so can I!  Maybe. 

During yoga today, I felt such clarity in so many things in my life.

It felt so good to be there doing yoga, first of all.  I had not been able to go for a week so that was a long time to go without the purification.

I realized that connecting with my aunt on the phone last night was very therapeutic.  She seemed very happy to hear from me.  I thanked her for sending a birthday card to my son, who is her godchild, and she made it sound like, “Of course, that is something I should do.”  My words, not hers.  I realized that even though I still want to make a connection and have my dc connect with some older adults, senior citizens, I will still need to fill other voids.  My aunt could help fill the void of having someone from my own family (my dad’s side) to connect with.  Maybe I will need to find someone to connect with on my mom’s side. 

And I still need someone to help me when I need help with the kids or birthday parties or whatever comes up.

I dedicated my yoga practice today to my birthday boys.  Last night’s blogging was very therapeutic and now I need to put my mindfulness into practice and get off the computer! 

“Love is the greatest commandment on which all other commandments are based;  We are here to bring a particular gift of talent into the world, without which the world would be a poorer place;   Time is a gift that is only given to us moment by moment; The gifts of grace, faith, talent, life, nature and breath are free;  All gifts are given to be given away.”  – Esther Armstrong

It was my 4 yo’s birthday about a week ago.  Both of my sons were born in October and it makes for a busy time.  We took him to the zoo which was fun for the whole family.  We saw a Russian Grizzly Coast exhibit and even saw a grizzly bear up close swimming in the water.  We saw very playful sea otters doing somersaults and various back floats up close.  I could have sat there for a long time watching them play in the frigid water. 

My 4 yo son kept saying it was “the lucky day of his life” and he was walking with an extra spring in his step the whole time.  He seems very proud to be four and seems eager to get bigger and older.  My, how quickly this time passes.  Just the other day he was 3 yo and it seemed like that time would always be there for us.

When I snuggle with him at night now, it is with the knowledge that these days are numbered.  That as much as I want him to be small enough to carry and sweet enough to kiss and hug freely without any embarrassment or hesitation, I realize that it will not always be this way.

So this thinking brings me back to the idea of mindful living.  And this blog.  You would think seeing the name, The Mindful Homeschool, every time I log in would make me want to live more mindfully or at least check myself to see if the day has been mindful, or if my thoughts have been mindful.  Or most importantly, perhaps, if my parenting has been mindful.   Or mindless.

When I do sit and think about it, I worry that so much of my life is so mindless!  So much of my time is spent like there will always be a tomorrow, another day, another opportunity to do it right, mend the bad habit, start anew, become the best mom I can be! 

But sadly, it isn’t so.  My mindless habits are getting worse.  I spend way too much time on the computer these days.  Way too much time in front of a screen when I could be reading a book to my kids, or playing with my dc, or tending to the household chores, or sitting in meditation or practicing yoga, or reading a good book and mindfully doing what I want to be doing with my life.  

Even if I live to be 120 (!), life will be too short.  My children will be small children for only so long.  And I will be at the epicenter of their lives for such a limited time. 

It goes back to one of my previous posts where I wondered why is it that we don’t do what we know we should do?  

My yoga teacher has been saying lately that yoga is 99% practice and 1% theory.   I think life is the same.  I can spend all the ”free time” I have reading blogs and reading emails in search of the perfect parenting techniques, the perfect way to manage my homeschool and personal life and balance out all my needs.  But at some point, I have to say, “Enough.”  And start living and being the person I want to be.    The ”goshdarn” reality is that I have to be there, practicing – living my life.  I have to be parenting, not just reading and writing about parenting.  I have to be homeschooling, not just reading and writing about homeschooling. 

For a person like me who loves to read and write, the internet has been a great way for me to gather information and connect with others.  But I cannot mindlessly allow it to dominate my life.  So somehow, I must start living my life.   And I have to start right now.  Because as the quote above so beautifully articulates, 

“Time is a gift that is only given to us moment by moment;  The gifts of grace, faith, talent, life, nature and breath are free;  All gifts are given to be given away.”

Happy Birthday, H-man!  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  

I am always amazed …

… that doing just 10 minutes of yoga stretches and mindful breathing can make me feel so much better.

… how much my 7 yo son loves animals.  (On Friday we saw chickens at a farm we were visiting.  W just adored them.  I guess I am going to have to work on getting him a pet of his own.)

… how much I love to walk on clean floors and how it can truly brighten my day, sometimes my week.

… how a good book can change your life, or at least your perspective on your life.

… how passionately I feel about politics, the issues, and the politicians themselves.

… that I don’t always do all the things I am supposed to do to stay healthy, like eating broccoli (!) and exercising regularly and meditating, etc.,  when I know how good they are for one’s health and well-being.

… how much time I can spend on the computer these days.

… how strong the bond is between a parent and a child and how much I love my children.

“You, just as you are, and your life here, right now, are all there is and all you need to know. You don’t have to do anything special. Mostly, you have to be open to meeting face to face, and even dancing with, the truth that pertains to your life right now. You have to find a way to collect your fractured pieces, examine them, and then accept them as part of who you are. Spiritual practice is about transformation, but it’s also, and more importantly, about working with what is. –Angel Kyodo Williams

I came to the practice of asana with a curvature in my spine. Thousands of hours of my life have been devoted to struggling with the effects of this. On the mat, my lower back became a battleground. I fought and lost, fought and lost. My efforts to heal myself often ended in debilitating back spasms. Over time, though, I began to respect my back. I marveled at its ability to bend backward and forward, to recover from tremendously painful injuries. Eventually I started to befriend my back, and even to see it as something to be admired. I began focusing on what it could do. As this attitude developed, the need to change my back, to fight my reality, lessened and gradually disappeared. The curvature in my back is gone, and I can’t remember exactly when it went away, because when it did, I no longer cared.”

(from Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates)

“A hundred times a day I remind myself that my life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give, in measure as I have received, and am still receiving.”

-Albert Einstein (from Meditations from the Mat)

I consider myself very fortunate to have this awesome, talented, and gorgeous yoga instructor teaching at our local fitness club. (26)  She is smart; she is knowledgeable; she is strict; she is beautiful; she is strong and she is one of the best yoga teachers I have ever had.  I have learned so much from her and she has inspired me to take my practice farther and deeper.  She has also encouraged us to practice carefully/mindfully so as to avoid injuring ourselves.  (She told us that she wants us to be able to continue doing yoga with her decades from now!) 

Today I was able to go to one of her classes and I had a great workout. (27)  I even attempted bird-of-paradise and was able to do it rather well. (28)  Not perfectly, not even close, but well enough for Kristina, my teacher, to say, “Gorgeous, Lucy!”  Now I know that you are not going to see me on the cover of Yoga Journal doing bird-of-paradise anytime soon but nonetheless, there is something to be said about being complimented in a class full of other students.  Being acknowledged for attempting the pose and being somewhat successful is a huge day brightener!

I told my dh not too long ago that if it weren’t for yoga, I would not be HSing.  Now I cannot say that with total certainty but I do know that yoga helps me relieve stress.  It helps me stay clear-headed enough to deal with all the extra stressors that parenting and HSing bring on.  I remember that in one of my first classes with Kristina, she complimented me on my practice and my flexibility.  Well, it is true that a good compliment can last a person a week or more.  That compliment was one of the first genuine compliments I had had in months, maybe years.  As a SAHM, and as a HS mom, I find the compliments on my work as a parent and a teacher to be extremely rare.  So hearing those words of praise from this gorgeous instructor made my heart sing and kept me flying high for quite a while.

Yoga seems to be something my body cries out for.  After practicing for about 18 months or so, I can tell when my body needs a good stretch.  Doing sun salutations and other basic poses make me feel so good.  Through my study of yoga, I have learned more about what makes a good teacher.  I have learned about Sanskrit, about what poses are good for what conditions, and how to do certain poses safely.  My children have been learning right along with me.  They know a lot of the poses and they know some of the sanskrit words used to describe certain the different asanas or poses.  They are also learning that the learning you do in life does not stop when you reach a certain age.  Learning is a life-long journey we all need to embark on.  Daily.

I hope that I will never grow tired of yoga.  Studying and practicing yoga has been a life-transforming experience and I hope that my enthusiasm for this ancient practice will inspire others to check it out for themselves.